The joust...joust...joust...



Gentle peasants and busty wenches, please join me in cheering on Sir Geoffrey of Snevil!  Huzzah!




And, of course, raise thy voices in a fond huzzah for gentle Sir Jonathan of Sgoodia. Huzzah!




The goodly knights take their positions as the lovely Princess Blandly of Flatchester greets each with a warm smile and words of encouragement.  Only one knight shall walk away from this field today victorious, only one knight shall take the hand of Princess Blandly in marriage and his rightful place on the throne of our fair kingdom.



Billy the peasant presents the lances to the knights.  Thank you, Billy.




And they're off!






Ooooh, they missed! Close call...Close Call!





The Princess does not look happy.  She came here to see blood, not fey men tickling each other!



Meanwhile, the crowd cheers.  Huzzah!  This match sure is exciting!



And they're off for the second pass!  Huzzah!



Oh no! Sir Geoffrey is hit!



Sir Geoffrey has been unseated! He has lost the Princess and the kingdom!  What a loser!



The crowd goes wild!  Huzzah!  Sir Jonathan of Sgoodia wins the hand of the fair Princess Blandly of Flatchester!




The happy couple embraces warmly in the tender light of chivalrous victory as Sir Geoffry's evicerated corpse is removed from the field.  Congratulations, Sir Jonathan!  We greet you as our new king!



Hail good Sir Jonathan of Sgoodia, our new king!  We place our lives in your smarmy hands!


Yes, this is what I do in my spare time.

Anyway.